One computing lesson, approximately six weeks before the end of the year, I told Jon with complete seriousness that I was colour blind; what's more, I told him I suffered from monochromatism and was trapped in a black, white and grey world.

Understandably, at first my claim was met with hostile disbelief.

But I had luck on my side. For, over the course of the year, I had said multiple times to Roger - our teacher and famed author of the Fax Machine Monster of Basildon series of novels - that I was colour blind, when he asked us things to do with colour; ie., "Copy the purple text on the board" or something. This had been going on for months and became a fantastic device to use to convince Jon of my lack of colour perception.

This continued for several weeks, me constantly bringing it up and tailoring situations to bring it up as often as I could. If we were asked to do something with colour, I would ask Jon, Lloyd or Jordan for help in puzzling things out, and if any discussion were to arise about colour I would sit in stony silence. I even, whilst doing a comic about Jon (which is no longer on the site), asked him what colour his hair was, before getting someone to help in selecting the right colour for the comic. It was a very elaborate, but very well worked joke that had Jon really questioning his convictions. By the end, he was almost positive I was telling the truth.

Then I fucked it all up.

One morning, after coming in suffering from the usual dodgy hayfever and talking about my constant sneezing, I joked to Lloyd and Jordan that I liked to look at my hand after sneezing, to 'see the colours'.

"See the colours?" Jon asked, with a knowing grin on his face; I had tripped up.

"Ah..." I began, looking for a way out, to continue the joke. But it was too late; the damage was done. "Fuck."